7 From a Year-Old Post, with a Bonus One for this Past "Different" Year
When I origianlly wrote this, it was s the 7th birthday of my coaching practice and I chose to celebrate by sharing with you 7 game-changing things I’ve learned along the way.
It's taken a year to put these lessons on the blog, but what a year it has been! Nevertheless, the lessons still ring true. And now my coaching practice turns 8 years old, so I've added a bonus 8th lesson that I learned through this very difficult year.
And now, without further ado, here they are:
#1 Results May Vary
Not all advice is for you. If the strategy doesn’t get intended results - don’t change yourself, change your strategy!
Thriving with ADHD is not about trying harder. It’s about trying differently.
#2 Productivity is not Worth
Sometimes wonderful, creative, courageous and sensitive people struggle to get out of bed. You are worthy also when you procrastinate, sleep or fail.
You are worthy. The End.
#3 You Get to Choose
"The bad new is that time flies. The good news is that you're the pilot!"
Michael Altshuler
You’ll never have enough time to do it all, but by
simplifying
delegating or
letting go,
you get to do the right stuff.
#4 - Baby Steps Work
Breaking things down is the cure to almost all inaction. It’s how you make the impossible doable.
#5 - Be Nice, Especially To Yourself
You don’t have to shame yourself into doing a better job. Growth comes from curiosity and compassion, not judgment and negative self-talk.
#6 - Normal is Overrated
You can't cure ADHD. You can support your weaknesses enough to prevent dysfunction.
But you don’t have to be perfectly organized before you go out and do what lights you up.
Thriving with ADHD does not mean mastering looking normal.
#7 - Embrace Failure
Failing means you’ve tried, that you’ve courageously dared to be great, to quote the title of a Brene Brown book. Failure is not the opposite of success, it is a step in the success-process. What’s more, failure provides you with valuable feedback – what worked, what didn’t? What did you learn and what can you tweak?
Failing means you’ve begun on the path towards triumph!
#8 - Stuff Can Be Two Things
To quote my favorite TV character, Jake Peralta: "Stuff can be two [or a few, or a million] things". Maybe Jake wasn't talking about emotions, but it helped me get my head around this year's squall of emotional turmoil nonetheless. Here's what I mean:
You can feel frustrated at a family member at the same time that you are grateful for their safety.
You can rejoice at one outcome at the same time that you are shrouded in sorrow about a different aspect of the situation.
You can feel angry or disappointed at the same time that you acknowledge the many people who have it worse off than you.
Stuff can be lots of things at the same time. We can be thankful and furious and scared and proud and sickened and validated and a million other feelings. It's all true. So thanks 99!
Those are the biggest lessons I have learned coaching adults, especially women, with ADHD over the past 7 years. And I couldn't be more grateful to all of you for the lessons.
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